Coming back to the U.S.

I’m excited and anxious to get back home. I can’t wait to give everyone a big hug. This trip has been amazing and I am very happy that I came, although it has been a little different than what I thought it would be. I think it’s just from everyone from last year’s group telling us that it will change our lives. And I’m sure it will, but it just hasn’t changed it that much yet. I’m assuming that I’ll be able to see a difference when I get back home. I’m sure it will affect some of the decisions I make and the way I act. I’m still wondering when everything will hit me. I’m certain it will gradually affect my choices over time. I hope that I don’t lose sight of the people I met here and don’t forget their stories. I want to keep them with me forever and I want to share them with everyone I encounter. I’m unsure how this trip has fully affected me yet, but I’m positive it eventually will hit me. I’m going to miss the beautiful atmosphere here, the mountains, and the wonderful inspirational people of Guguletu. Now it’s time to jump on a 20-hour plane ride.

Cheers Cape Town!

Our Group

I personally think that our group worked really well together. We all have different personalities, but have a lot in common too. We were all understanding of one another and helped each other out, whether it was through providing a shoulder to cry on or questioning each other on our beliefs. Here are some of the attributes of each person in our group:

Christen: guided us to think deeper, sensitive, big heart, loves to love, adores her family and children

David: provides us with deep questions to help us think of things on a deeper level, makes sure our discussions/debates stay on topic, witty, funny

Matt: smart, tries to see things on both sides of the spectrum, people person, big smile and heart

Ben: passionate, wants to change the world, kind hearted, lives it up, brings new perspectives to the table

Erika: honest, funny, adventurous, stands up for what she believes in

Brittney: fun personality, laughs & smiles a lot, kind, likes to help others, loves romance

Emily S.: has a contagious laugh, optimistic, outgoing, kind-hearted, people person

Emily T.: warm-hearted, snorts when she laughs, caring, voices her opinion

Amanda: gets along with everyone, sweetheart, good dancer, understanding, good listener

Jessica: caring, classy, has good thoughts and perspectives, traveler

Everyone’s characteristics made our group a great one. We got to know each other really well. Even though there may have been a few points of conflict, resolutions were made. Each person is a great leader with a big heart and will do wonderful things with their talents.

Back in Mowbray

It was weird being back in Mowbray and back to the usual routine: lecture, going out to eat, relaxing. It was very nice to take a real shower, but I did miss my cozy, warm bed at Kate’s home. Christen’s birthday was the day after we returned and we celebrated at our wine tour. The vineyards were gorgeous. The first one overlooked mountains, had a swimming pool, and was very traditional. I actually really enjoyed having a “luxury” day after being in Guguletu. It was nice to have a break and get my spirits back up. When we passed townships on our way home, I could barely even look at them anymore because it was so depressing. Instead I looked at the beautiful mountains on the other side of the road. There were so many emotions going on last week that I just kind of shut down. Having a day to rejuvenate was much needed.

During lecture on Monday we brainstormed a diagram about all of the factors that affect education in Guguletu. It discouraged me a little bit to see all of the factors because there’s SO much needed to create change. There are so many things that impact education and that are destroying the school system. I lose hope when I see all of the issues because it seems impossible to fix. I just have to keep thinking back to the people that I’ve met in Guguletu and think about how much faith and hope they have. Why is it so hard for me to have as much hope as they do? Thinking about Johanna and her faith helps give me strength and hope in creating change. She always just kept working on helping others and knew that someday things would be better. I need to keep telling myself that things take time to change and that you can’t just all of the sudden change the education system. I need to just keep having faith, telling the stories of those being affected by the issue in hopes to gain the support of others, and have patience. The education system needs money, resources and community help. It’s going to take a lot of time and effort to change these things, but I hope that it happens. These people deserve it. They shouldn’t have to live like this and they shouldn’t have to have this many problems that hinder them from learning. Education is one of the only things that will help them get ahead of the system, and help them find jobs that will support themselves and their families.

Then we had to write a letter to ourselves about who we were inspired by in Guguletu and what changes we will work on when we get back home. The changes that I can only think of right now are personal things like be more giving, caring, hopeful and faithful. I plan on sharing their stories and hope to help creating change in their lives for the better. I would like to talk to the philanthropy director of PRSSA when I get back and see if there’s any time that we could have a fundraiser for AIDS organizations, like Open Arms (who has a direct relationship with JL Zwane). I hope that we are able to take a part in helping out those we met, whether it’s through raising money, donating things, or spending more time here to help create a program.

The end of Guguletu

Our morning began with a lecture at JL Zwane with Rev. Xapile. I’m just going to pinpoint some main ideas that he mentioned. The first thing was something called narrative therapy, which is taking some experiences more seriously than others. I know I definitely do this by evaluating what things I should be focusing on the most, but I think that do need to sometimes re-evaluate these things. I don’t want to change them, but change the level of seriousness I have with some of them. Sometimes I take things more seriously than I should-like being so concerned about my grades. This causes extra stress that’s sometimes unnecessary and can also cause me to miss out on other opportunities.

He also said that commitment is doing this you promised to do, even if there may be changes. You can’t drop things if they change from when they started. Edwin stressed the same thing- that you shouldn’t make a promise unless you can keep it. The worst crime to commit is breaking a promise because you create a deep wound in the hearts of those involved with that promise. This is also something that I sometimes need to think twice about because I sometimes do say I’ll do one thing and then back out later on. I do feel bad when I do things like this and don’t always take the other person’s feelings into deep consideration at that point. Or I will consider them, but tell myself that they won’t care to make myself feel better. I hope to be a leader who keeps her promises and makes people happy by accomplishing whatever I set my heart to.

One of the things that always kept inspiring me more and more on this trip was people’s faith in God. They have endless amounts of hope and faith. Xapile says that there is no time to say there’s nothing that can be done because you can always do something. God, who creates something out of nothing and also the people around him, inspires him. There are always possibilities for great things to happen, you just need to have faith and not give up. If you can’t see the possibilities, then you can’t reach them. Like said earlier, once the mind is forced to do something, your body follows. You need to know your beliefs, thoughts, hopes, etc. in order to follow through with them and create a difference. Leaders need to believe in themselves! Which is also something that I hope to strengthen- my confidence. Sometimes I don’t always express myself if I don’t feel passionate about a topic because I don’t have total confidence about how I feel about it. I do voice my opinion about things that I do feel strongly about, but can still be pushed back by those who don’t feel the same way. I need to not let those thoughts push my down, but make me stronger and more confident in what I believe.

Noxi (Erika and Emily’s mama) hosted our last dinner. We ate until our stomachs were full and then turned on some tunes (her “White Shit” c.d.) to dance to. The most fun dance was doing the electric slide with everyone in her living room. I love doing those dances with a bunch of people. At the end of the night all of the mamas and us said our good-byes and thanks one by one. I thought I wouldn’t be sad, but I actually did tear up when saying good-bye and giving hugs. Kate was so sweet- she got up and sang Brittney and me a good-bye song saying, “I’m going home.” (I don’t remember the rest). It was really beautiful and sad. The thing that saddens me the most is that I don’t know what will happen to all of these wonderful, kind-hearted people. I hope that God watches over them and makes sure they stay safe and warm. I am so grateful for having such a wonderful mama to stay with during my trip to Guguletu. The only thing that I wish happened was that we would’ve gotten a chance to have more than one deep conversation with Kate and Penny. It was just hard because we were all always tired after dinner so we would just get sent to bed whenever we got home if we didn’t have a dessert to munch on. If we got one free day this past week it would have been a nice way to get to know our families more and learn about their history. But I’m happy with everything and glad that I got to experience the township life. I’m ready to head back and share all of my stories with people back home.

Day three in Guguletu

The second speaker we had during lecture today was with Dr. Deon Snyman, who is from the Foundation for Church Led Restitution. He brought up an interesting approach that said the fantasy of apartheid is that we just don’t know each other and so that’s why it’s difficult for us to understand one another. It’s so simple and seems too easy to talk with people to gain a better understanding of them, which is exactly what we did this week during our home stays. Even though it was scary at first to live with someone I didn’t know in an environment that I was unfamiliar with, it was easy. If all of us even just spent a day with someone from a different region or of a different race, we would learn so much. Getting people together to find out their needs and share their stories would ultimately prevent wars and battles like apartheid. Synman also said that you can’t have real reconciliation in South Africa by saying sorry, but you need to give back to the community. I totally agree with this- in any situation you can’t just say sorry, but you need to show that you’re sorry and why you should be forgiven. The community can’t just all of the sudden change their feelings because of an apology, but you need to show that you care, show that you did wrong, and show that you want to make change for the better. We need to do something about the imbalances and inequalities from apartheid. How long will this take? I know it’s making progress, but it seems like there is still so much work to be done. Synman raised a good point that people may be scared for change to happen because their comfort of living would be shaken. This is a perspective that I didn’t ever think of because I assumed that everybody would just want change for the better no matter what. If I put myself in that situation, it would be hard for me to get used to something that’s completely different too. (This also goes along with the fact that it’s difficult to give up some privileges if you’ve been privileged in the past.) But at the same time I think I would want to deal with that uncertainty if it meant that people would be treated equally. This kind of goes along with when I asked Kate if she thinks she will ever move out of Guguletu. She said no because she grew up here. It’s what she’s used to and she enjoys the sense of community where everyone walks outside and talks to one another. Even so, we need to create a way to gain the support of the people to take action in creating a difference, which may involve giving some privileges and familiarity up.

Another reason that’s preventing change is that people are afraid to talk about it because it’ll open a can of worms. But if this doesn’t happen it’ll create a deeper wound. I really like this analogy and agree with it completely- when you’re mad at someone you have to tell them and explain why because otherwise it could grow into a bigger problem in the future and nothing would change or get resolved. This is something that I sometimes struggle with because I like to avoid conflict as much as possible. At the same time, though, I think that some conflict is healthy and necessary. I need to try to get more comfortable with conflict and take the right approaches, like acknowledging when I do something wrong.

The lecturer mentioned that his biggest challenge is keeping everyone together and having them know what apartheid did to blacks in South Africa if you didn’t experience it first-hand. This goes along with what the minister said in Sunday’s mass about how we can only understand a black person’s experiences if your black. So we must learn through relationships to gain the deepest understanding possible and spread that understanding onto others. When I return to the United States I plan on sharing the stories of those I’ve been inspired by in Guguletu in hopes that those I tell will be inspired to pass along the stories and help with their struggles.

An attitude problem in community structures is that the younger generations find the stories of apartheid more humorous, while the older generation find them sad and think back to their families. Johanna believes that the younger generation doesn’t understand and is not interested about what they went through during apartheid. I don’t know if I totally agree with this because if we are here trying to learn more about it, wouldn’t other people our age from South Africa be interested too? She says that the younger generation needs to realize how lucky they are and all of the opportunities we have. I can understand that some people may take things for granted, especially when things are so available for you. For example, I take for granted running water. And a good point is that parents in South Africa don’t always know how to guide their children because of their differences in rights. Whereas in the U.S. parents compare luxury from when they grew up to now. My dad would always say, “When I was your age I always had to wash the dishes…” or something along those lines. Of course when I was younger I found this so annoying because I didn’t care that he had to wash the dishes, but now I have more of an interest and deeper understanding of why he kept enforcing things like that (so that we don’t take things like dishwashers for granted). I feel like I am a very appreciative person, but I can still sometimes take little things, like a mirror, for granted. There was no mirror at Kate’s home and Brittney and I realized that we never really realized that we’re lucky to have things like that all the time.

Later that day we brought food over to Priscilla’s home. She has turned her home into a foster home for 12 children. The bedroom that the kids stay in has one full bed, one twin bed and one futon. The rest of the kids have to sleep on the floor. Not only that, but the walls are bad, rain comes leaks inside and there’s no ventilation. These people have such big hearts and it’s just so sad to see them suffering. But the great part is, is that even though they’re suffering they’re still so positive and still so caring. They don’t stop loving. This is inspiring because I feel like I can loose hope so fast and easily. I need to learn that you can get through the bad times if you just keep believing and continue to have hope. And during this time, stop worrying about yourself and continue to help others- make a difference in someone else’s life.

Day two in Guguletu

This morning Brittney and I were woken up by Kate carrying a bucket of hot water- a township shower. The amount of water is about an inch and a half deep. She didn’t give us much instruction so it was confusing as to what we were supposed to do. We dunked our heads upside down into the water bucket, while one person poured a cup of the water on the back of the other person’s head. We then took turns washing our hair so that the other person could help rinse. It wasn’t so bad! I felt like I was camping because there was also no sink for us to brush our teeth in, so we used the bushes. I feel terrible saying this because I know that there are thousands of people in the township that live like this, but I kept counting down how many more days I had until I could take an actual shower. I’m sure if I actually lived in these conditions it’d be different, because it’d be the only thing that I’m used to. But since I’ve had showers all my life it was different. I am super happy that I got to the real township home experience, though.

Our day started by going to the Treatment Action Campaign (TAC) in Khayelitsha. Mandla Majola spoke with us about HIV/AIDS in Khayelitsha and what their program does. There are 600,000 people that live in Khayelitsha, 80,000 of which are HIV positive and only 11,000 get free treatment from the clinic. 74% of those that have HIV also have TB. One of the top problems that TAC is facing is rape. Two people get raped every day (that’s 60 people a month). Mostly three to nine year old boys are getting raped and two to 14 year old girls. This just tears me up inside. How can people do this to such little innocent children? One of the worst parts about it is that a family member or somebody they know usually does it. This is scary because it’s like you can’t trust anybody. Who can children trust if they can’t trust their closest relatives and friends? After TAC we went to the TB clinic. I think all of us were a little worried about stepping foot in there because we thought the disease would spread to us.

Then our driver, Xolani, let us tour is home in Guguletu. It’s weird because I would have not pictured him to live in a shack because he dresses nice, smells good, is always happy, etc. This made me sad and embarrassed for judging where people may live based off their appearance. His family is so friendly- I hope they didn’t feel too uncomfortable showing us their home. I think like I would feel a little weird having people I don’t know coming in my home and taking pictures like wild.

We went to the Rainbow After School Program at JL Zwane today also. The kids are very cute. They have the biggest smiles on their faces and are so happy. During tutoring I helped out a little 3rd grader named Xolisa. After reading, Xolisa asked me how dogs know how to sniff for drugs. He said that the police come by with the dogs to sniff around and if someone’s caught with drugs they go to jail for six to 20 days. He said that his mom smokes cigarettes, his dad drinks and his brother smokes drugs. His parents will get mad at his brother when he smokes drugs so they’ll hit him. I was shocked that Xolisa was sharing all of this information with me. It’s really heartbreaking to hear about what a 3rd grader has to deal with. I didn’t even know what drugs or alcohol were in 3rd grade. It’s also sad that his family is spending money on addictions instead of saving it for things like food. But even though Xolisa was going through all of this at home, he still had the brightest smile and such a bright, positive attitude.

Something that I thought about during Rainbow was its comparison to Y-tutoring at Nelly Stone Elementary School in the inner city of Minneapolis. It’s very strange because it seems like the kids here had better hygiene than the kids in Minneapolis. Minneapolis kids also have bad breathe and didn’t smell the greatest. Also, the students in Guguletu treat you with so much more respect that those in Minneapolis. They listen to you and look up to you, whereas in Minneapolis none of the students listen to the teacher or what you say. There is little obedience. This was surprising to me because you’d expect students in a 3rd world county to be taught little discipline and have worse hygiene than those in Minneapolis, where the schools have funds from the government and live in nicer places than a shack.

After dinner Kate and Penny sat down to talk with Brittney and me. Kate shared with us her family background, which was very interesting- she grew up with 15 brothers and sisters! Kate’s son, Paul, now lives with his dad. Penny was mad at him because he was on heroine and hung out with the wrong crowd. He once had to go to jail for being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Kate seemed to be very disappointed in him and you can tell that she cares so much about him, but just wants the best for him. She said that you need to know why you should be friends with someone and if you don’t like them, you should be smart and drop them in the right way. I agree with this because your personality does change depending on those you are friends with and hang out with. If you hang out with a troublesome crowd, you’ll most likely eventually find yourself in trouble and making the wrong decisions. Friends are something that you want to think about and choose carefully. They are people that help you, challenge you, love you, and leave footprint in your life and heart. Another thing that Kate stressed, which I found interesting because it’s opposite of the SA culture I’ve seen, is that it’s important to be on time. During our stay in Mowbray, time was very laid back. During our stay in Guguletu, it seemed like time was stressed, especially at JL Zwane. I wonder if time is only stressed at the workplace.

Kate also stressed that education is very important to find a job. Edwin, at JL Zwane, also said that education is very important in order for the children to succeed and go ahead with their lives. The only thing that bewilders me is that they have to pay for the students to go to school, buy uniforms, buy supplies, etc. There are so many factors that hinder the children from getting a good education. Having free education and a simpler dress code would be a step closer to sustainability, because they would let children gain knowledge, ultimately giving them greater opportunities in the future. But I understand that they need the money to pay the teachers and for maintenance in the school. Maybe the government can help more? Then Penny was telling us how the white schools are more expensive. This shocked me because I didn’t think segregation in the schools still occurred. It’s sad to realize it does because it shouldn’t be that way- everyone should be given equal opportunities. I asked Penny how long she thinks they’ll still be segregated for and she said a long time because they always have been. How was I so oblivious to this going on? It seems crazy to me that segregation is still occurring after all this time. I thought that people were okay with people of the opposite race and they were all treated equally. Creating equality would be another step in the right direction towards creating systemic change. How this can be done, I’m still not sure.

I am inspired by Kate and how caring she is. She strives for everyone to be happy and will do anything for him or her. She always makes sure everything is okay and that we feel comfortable and loved. For example, Brittney’s camera broke and Kate called in sick to work to bring it to the store and see if they can fix it. How nice is that?! She treats us like family and is so loving. She loves children and tells us that she hardly sleeps at night because she wants to be there for every moment with them.

First day in Guguletu

I have to admit that I was nervous about going into Guguletu this morning because I wasn’t sure what to expect and I didn’t know how the people at JL Zwane would treat us. On our drive over we passed a township that just looked so heartbreaking. There were shacks all over each other that were torn down and had garbage on top of them, shops and salons were in the storage shipping crates from trains (aka pods). When we pulled up to JL Zwane (the center/church) I was surprised. The center is very nice-it was only built a few years ago. There’s an area in the middle that has no roof, but has these tarps hanging on top-it looks cool, kind of like a parachute. The church has wooden chairs like classroom ones, but they are joined together, that are used for the pews. The church service was a lot different than what I’m used to in a Catholic church. The service doesn’t really follow and order- the minister will ask if anyone would like to say a prayer and also asks if the choir can think of a song that revolves around giving praise. There was also no communion (it is only done about once a month). One thing that I found funny was that after each song you’d sit down and then about five seconds later you’d stand back up to sing another song. During the second mass I had an embarrassing moment where I stood up when I wasn’t supposed to since I wasn’t a member of the congregation. The church choir is filled with about 20 ladies who have amazing voices. Their singing is so strong and powerful that even though I don’t know the words they were singing (they speak in Xhosa), it still moves me and makes me happy but also wants to cry at the same time. They use these small rectangular sandbag pillows to pound and make a beat with. Their voices fill the church with a sense of love and community. You can tell that they all have strong beliefs because they get really into it. Their music also has no music notes, so it’s hard to tell how long you’re supposed to hold a note for. Their song and praise is so moving and uplifting. You can tell they are so grateful and have so much love for God.

After mass we met our house mama. Brittney and I are staying with Kate, her daughter Penny and Penny’s newborn baby boy, At. Kate is very friendly. The first thing she asked was “Who likes noodles? Who likes mashed potatoes? Who likes dogs?” You can tell that she is very caring and wants you to feel comfortable in her home. She prepared food and read our biographies about our likes and dislikes. Brittney had in her bio that she enjoys reading and so Kate even left a stack of books by Brittney’s bed for her to read. It’s really cute. Kate calls us her babies and love. All of the mamas are outgoing, friendly, caring, warm-hearted people. You can tell that they really appreciate us coming here and will take good care of us.

Johanna, a volunteer at the center that takes care of the elderly, came by to talk to us for awhile. She told us how for the past two years she has been visiting the homes of sick people who are elderly. The other day she visited this lady who was waiting for her daughter to come home from work so that they could go to the clinic and pick up her medicine. So Johanna went to go pick up her medicine for the lady and went back to her home and talked with her for about an hour. By doing simple things like, you can make a difference in their lives. Johanna told us that you just need to move on from the bad things and keep hoping, being positive, and thankful. This was very inspirational because one person can make a big difference in the lives of others. It bewilders me as to how people who are suffering are able to sustain such a positive outlook on life and go about every day in a bright perspective.

The assistant minister, Mel, was telling us how one of her goals since she has been in Cape Town is to help someone somehow every day. This may be by giving them money or helping them spiritually. But then she also mentioned to keep in mind that you can’t help everyone you see. There’s some people that she walks by and all she can say is “God bless you.” This is something to keep in mind because I’m sure I’ll want to help others once I talk to them and hear their story, but I’ll have to remember that even the lady wearing the collar can’t help everyone.

When we were getting dropped off to our homes in Guguletu I was getting nervous because we kept passing these really run down areas and I had no idea what to expect for what my home would look like. It was really strange because on one side of the street there’d be these nicer small brick homes and then in their backyard would be stacks of tin metal box homes with bags of garbage on top to hold down their roof. At church today they said that some people couldn’t make it to mass because of the rain. This meant they had to take care of their homes because of the leaks that would drip down from their ceilings. They also said they may not have gotten much sleep because they have to keep moving their beds at night if the ceilings leak. It’s hard for me to understand that people live like this- it’s so surreal, yet real.

We pulled up to our home, which is nice! The home has a tiny living room, a dining room, small kitchen and one bedroom with two beds in it. Brittney and I are staying in a separate building in their backyard that has two beds, a TV, three comfy chairs, space heater and a desk. It’s actually really cozy and nice. I was just a little nervous about the fact that it wasn’t connected to the house, but it was okay because we could lock it. Kate also has three dogs, one of which is a guard dog named Danger (reminds me of “Sandlot”). The bathroom is also in a separate shack in their backyard. It’s basically like an outhouse but has a running toilet in it. Stay tuned to see how everything works out!